Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Should I even put in the effort?

So its towards the end of the school year, and I only have 1 exam left. My friend promised me she could give me a ride if I waited on this street corner to pick me up. I wait there for about 10 minutes and shes not there. I reach in my pocket to pull out my phone, only to find out its dead. So I walk to the end of the street and back, and by the time I get there, the police start forcing everybody off campus. I decide to borrow somebody's phone to call her, because at this point, I got no where else to go (I have 75 cents in my wallet, not even enough for the bus). She finally picks up and tells me that I wasn't there, and that she kept trying to call me, except she didn't say that, she just kept saying "its too late, its too late, its too late" after everything I said in the bitchiest tone possible. I start to get hysterical and ask why she cant just turn around since school is over and exams have only been over for about 15 minutes, she just says "im hanging up now" and I shout **** YOU into the phone. After borrowing about 20 other people's phones I finally get a ride from my mom, who cant get me until almost 2 when it was noon. So i sat outside in 90 degree weather IN THE GHETTO with nothing to do but wait. My mom picks me up and drives me home and i don't speak to her for a few days (even though she's my neighbor too). Then finally today when im out walking my dog, her dad pulls me aside and starts giving me a speech that's supposed to scare me, saying how she is real upset how i haven't forgiven her, how i shouldn't talk like that to her daughter, how I should be a man and all that macho bullshit. and i find myself standing here not giving a ****, yet at the same time feeling guilty because I don't feel guilty. She was a middle school friend who the only reason i still hung out with was because i had no friends freshmen year. She has done **** like this before countless times, and i rolled belly up because I had no other choice. The worst part is that she that she would only be my friend when she wanted to and made me feel insecure and awkward about anything I did, which really ****** with my head for a long time . To end my bitching here: she's manipulative, rude, self-centered, and all packaged behind the smug facade of some indie chick who is completely oblivious that this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Im pretty sure you can already tell already I am completely done with this person, but should I apologize to her anyway just so the next 2 years before I graduate aren't awkward? Should I feel guilty? Should I fake it? Or should I just say what i feel? (that im done with you and im not sorry)

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